Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Prayers for My Mother

This blog is my personal reflection on the journey of healing that Jesus is leading me to walk.

Close to two years ago, my parents took my siblings and spouses and Bill and I on a two week road trip. The last day of the trip, I was sitting in the hotel room literally twiddling my thumbs while I waited to leave. I was directed to read Ezekial 37, the passage on the valley of the dry bones. I heard after I read it: "There will be a shaking in your family, but I will bring breakthrough."

We were literally shaken just two hours later through a revelation by one of our family members; the shaking has continued through my extended family ever since.

My Mother found out two weeks after that trip that she needed heart surgery; her valves were leaking and needed to be fixed. The odds of it not working were just 2% but she ended up being one of that small minority. Just two months later, her heart was leaking just as much as before the surgery and the amount continues to increase as time goes by.

It's been one challenging health issue after another for my Mom; they just keep coming.

The Lord called me to a time of prayer and fasting for my family last November. Sometimes when I prayed, I saw God's hand with a needle sewing the valves to the heart. I knew that God meant it when another family member saw the same picture in prayer.

However, her health continues to decline. Every time I go to the Lord to complain, I hear "Romans 4: the faith of Abraham." Abraham is called our Faith Father because he waited 25 years for his promised son Issaac. Even though his body was as good as dead and Sarah's womb was closed, he believed that God was able to do the impossible.

That's what faith is: something that is bigger than we can see or imagine. Abraham teaches us how to walk in those places.

But, when I think about my own hesitances and listen to the people around me, I see that we hardly dare to hope, let alone stand in faith. As I've searched my life and heard those around me, I think that it comes down to this.

We are so afraid of being disappointed.
We fear God may not "deliver."
We wonder if we can trust him with something as big as our dreams.
We are afraid to look foolish in front of others.
We are afraid to be disappointed.

So, we have faith for drs to heal. We trust the medicine. We believe while it feels safe.

But, God wants us to have faith even when not one shread of evidence exists that healing will happen.

Our famiy is being put through this test. Missio Lux is being put through this test.

Just two weeks ago, my Mom was here in Seattle. Missio Lux Healing Prayer Community gave one of our gatherings to pray for her. We believe we heard the Lord say he had healed her.

The next day she felt great, but even before she left, the following day she couldn't breathe. We got the word just four days later than she needed to go on oxygen.

God, this doesn't look like healing to me.

Saturday she was rushed to the hospital because she couldn't breathe at all. I felt afraid. I was scared I would lose her.

But, Sunday I woke up to Jesus' tender question: "Will you stand in faith or will you stand in fear? It's your choice."

I knew then that I would stand in faith. I would believe that God has promised and he is doing it. That my part is to trust his character is good and his desire is to heal. We are being trained as we stand against the circumstances.

I had a talk with a wonderful woman of faith yesterday and she summed it up this way: "When we believe that we can trust God's character and that he is for us; that he wants our best, we can pray with great faith and let go of the outcome. We don't need to worry because we know God is good."

Romans 4, describing Abraham's faith, is the Scripture that I have been called to read over and over; the pages are getting worn out! But, the most meaningful statement in this passage is this: "When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do."

Where do you see that a situation is hopeless? How have you been able to walk it out in faith?
I'd love to hear so we can mutually encourage each other.


Anonymous said...

Yesterday (at my second favorite stop on Mercer Island) a book caught my attention that I bought for you Tamara. It is written by Michael Barry and called "A Reason for Hope."

The Second Chapter is actually titled: "Are You Afraid? (Of course I am, you idiot!)"

Here are a couple thoughts from his book related to your blog:

"As a Christian, where do I find hope? Hope grows out of my Easter faith. Easter teaches us that there is
no depair so dark,
no moral failure so grievous,
no thundercloud so threatening,
no disappointment so great,
no future so bleak,
no news so grim,
no life in such peril,
that our good and gracious God cannot remedy through His power to heal, comfort, restore, reconcile, and redeem. (...You'll have to read the book for the rest)

There are some wonderful prayers in the book too- Here is one of them:

A Prayer of Hope:

Father in heaven, help me to have hope by surrounding me with hopeful people. Help me to not receive bad news as though it is the last edition, but rather as one piece of information afloat on a river of facts flowing into a hopeful future. Heal me, I pray, not for my sake or anyone else's, but for Your sake. And ground my hope in the reality of Your profound and enduring love for me and desire for my well-being. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

-Praying for you, your family and your mom's healing.

Tamara Buchan said...

Thank you for your encouraging thoughts and for the book, which I will look forward to reading. I am pleaed with how God is showing me how to walk through this challenging faith walk; it is when we walk it together that we are strengthened. Thank you for being a fellow journeyer with me!